This just in...

Adrian Murray has got the hang of how to read the local "news".  Read it below.  Welcome aboard!

WHAT THEY SAID AND WHAT THEY MEANT

The headline:
Fort Worth Streetcar Supporters Make Final Push
What it meant
City Elite Preparing to Cram Streetcar Down Taxpayers Throats

The opening paragraph:
Supporters of bringing streetcars back to Fort Worth are ready to take their case to the public.
What it means:
Let the lying begin.

What's in the works:
Beginning Wednesday, a streetcar on loan from a system in Oregon will be displayed through Thanksgiving at the corner of Seventh and Throckmorton streets in downtown Fort Worth.
What it means:
Someone is fixing to make so much money on this swindle that they shipped a freaking streetcar all the way to Fort Worth from Oregon.

What he said:
"We want people to touch it and feel it and ask questions," Mayor Mike Moncrief said Tuesday during a break at a council meeting."
What he meant:
"The people are so incredibly stupid we're fairly certain if we let them touch and feel a freaking electric bus they'll never notice their tax dollars being wasted on the idiotic streetcar."

What's coming next:
The mayor and several council members also directed city staff to organize a town hall-style meeting some time in the next week or two, and invite residents from all parts of the city to learn about the potential costs and benefits of a streetcar system.
What it means:
Time to ratchet up the BS.

Why the dog and pony show?
"I think it’s time for us to listen to people on this issue, whether they live on the outskirts or the inner core of the city," Moncrief told council members.
What he really means:
"When the poor suckers realize our elite friends in the Fort Worth power circle pocketed tens of millions in this deal and all they got in return was a stupid electric bus going up and down Main Street, we need to be on record as having given them the opportunity to speak beforehand.  It's not our fault they couldn't put two and two together."

What's the problem?
At issue is whether the city should accept a $25 million federal grant, and add another $58 million to $63 million in local property tax funds, to build an electrified streetcar rail system from downtown to the Trinity River Vision project on the North Side, and to the medical district on the Near South Side.
What's the answer?
Absolutely not.

Why is that?
Several council members say the city can’t afford to spend public dollars on a project that is aimed more at sparking urban development than relieving traffic, especially when the city is slashing services and laying off workers to make ends meet.
What that really means:
There is no practical economic excuse for spending $100 million or so on a stupid electric bus, tear up city streets for years while it's being constructed and generally disrupt people's lives and bust the city budget.

What he said:
"To be brutally frank about it, nobody in my area is going to benefit from it," said Councilman Carter Burdette, whose district includes west and northwest Fort Worth.
What he meant:
Don't blame my ass.

What he said:
Councilman Joel Burns, whose district includes the city’s south and downtown areas, noted that the local funds for the project can be paid for with special property tax districts. There’s a misperception, he said, that streetcars are competing for funding against a proposed commuter rail line from southwest Fort Worth to Grapevine and Dallas/Fort Worth that is being planned by 2015

What he meant:
I sincerely believe Fort Worth citizens are the stupidest lifeforms on earth, maybe even lower than Brad Watson.  Seriously, I just said that some people think an electric bus going up and down Main Street would compete against the commuter rail line between Fort Worth and Dallas.  True, they both are in contention as the greatest waste of taxpayer dollars since some genius thought up the Trinity River Vision, but we're quite capable of wasting huge amounts of taxpayer money on two projects simultaneously.  Come on, get real.  We're politicians.  That's what we're paid to do.

What he said:
"I hope we make a strong effort to inform folks about what differentiates streetcars and commuter rail," Burns said.
What he meant:
Maybe if we draw them pictures they'll be able to figure it out.

What they suggest:
A consultant, HDR Engineering, has recommended that the city form a local government corporation to run the streetcar program. The corporation would include representatives from the city, the Fort Worth Transportation Authority, the tax increment financing districts and area property owners.
What they mean:
There's plenty of money to be made here, folks.  No need for shoving.  Let's let the idiot voters smell the new leather seats in the stupid electric bus while we agree on how to divide the loot.

What they're saying:
A few members of the transportation authority, also known as the T, have spoken out against the project. The T board is scheduled to get a briefing from the consultant Wednesday during a meeting in southeast Fort Worth.
What that means:
Where's our vig?

Why she objects:
T board member Reby Cary has criticized the plan for diverting federal transportation funds away from the city’s southeast side, where there are many predominately African-American neighborhoods. Bus ridership is high in those areas, Cary said, and transit improvements are sorely needed.
What she means:
I have Al Sharpton's cell phone number.

What happens next?
The debate during the next three weeks likely will pit residents of Fort Worth’s central neighborhoods, where support for streetcars is perceived to be higher, against residents of outlying areas where residents presumably desire more room for cars.
What that means:
We'll pretend we're listening to the little folks but we'll put the damn electric bus wherever we damn well please.

Why he's for it:
Councilman Sal Espino, who represents the North Side, said the public needs to understand that Fort Worth has a long-term plan to create urban, walkable villages within the city’s older neighborhoods. The streetcar plan would tap into property taxes only in these areas.
"You have the Baby Boomers. Their nest egg is empty. They’re looking for places to live," Espino said. "Then you have Generation Y, they were born between 1977 and 1994, and they’re looking to get close to the city."
What he's saying:
Don't I sound smart?  I know the dates of Generation Y.  I'm a freaking statistician.  Of course, never mind the fact that half those people born in 1977 will have died of old age before the first condo goes up for sale in Trinity Uptown.  And please don't ask me why there are so many vacancies in downtown loft apartments now.  I'm really fairly stupid.

How it works:
On the North Side, a tax district created for the Trinity River Vision – a proposal to reroute the Trinity River and create an island of mixed-use development just north of downtown – has already pledged support for the streetcar plan. A tax district for the South Side also has expressed support for dedicating its future property taxes to the project.
What that means:
The whole city is a freaking TIF.  We've already pledged all future property tax revenues until the year 2525.  We're broke.  Did someone say $25 million in FEDERAL dollars?

What's at stake:
The $25 million federal grant, meanwhile, could be used to connect those two neighborhoods to downtown.
What that means:
Whatever, whatever, just give us the $25 million.  Gideon Toal and Freese & Nichols have been all over my ass for a year now demanding their share of the tribute and just last night Brian Eppstein threatened to cut off the end of my nose if I didn't close this deal so stop asking me questions and SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!!

For the original article, go here: http://www.star-telegram.com/2010/11/16/2637507/fort-worth-streetcar-backers-seeking.html